In a nutshell, it all boils down to point of view or perspective. It’s true in writing and true in life. As a writer, I’ve learned that point of view (POV) is one of the most essential parts of storytelling. It sets the tone for any novel. It is the narrative itself which allows for a reader to see the fictional world from the perspective of the character and/or characters, whether it be written in omniscient, first-person, or third-person. It opens a world past that of only the physical and reaches into the realm of the emotional and spiritual. It is the part that breathes life into something that would otherwise be dull and unentertaining.
The more I’ve experienced, the more I realize how life is pretty much the same ... POV or perspective sets the tone in every way imaginable. It’s one of the most essential parts of our lives. A negative POV affects life negatively just like a positive POV affects life positively. Okay, I know, this is basic, common knowledge. But I never really paid attention, per se, to the direct correlation between the two until I became a mom. Dealing with children on a daily basis has a way of quickly altering one’s perspective. Thus, one of the many reasons, I feel, God created the family unit—so our finite minds could slightly comprehend His relationship with us on a better level.
In the midst of telling my children for the umpteenth time that their attitudes needed to be adjusted, I suddenly realized that theirs weren’t the only ones that needed adjusting. Of course, my outward expressions weren’t necessarily reflective of my negative attitude in the same way as my children’s were but certain aspects did glaringly reflect my negative POV not only of myself but my view of my life in general. I’d begun to view the glass as half empty instead of as half full.
Let me be painfully honest here…I’d slowly become the mom I’d always sworn I’d never be. We all know that mom or maybe you are that mom—the frumpily dressed one with the messy updo who is battling a negative self-image, depression, and anger—the one who’s frazzled, always running late, and stressed to the max. The one we’ve all been guilty of shying away from at one point or another; because…well let’s face it, she’s a royal mess battling more drama than we care to know about.
Yep, regrettably I’d become someone I didn’t want to be. Granted it happened over time, and most days I was truly busy with little time for myself while battling situational drama that I wouldn’t dare utter to anyone else. Worst of all, I was living in denial, justifying my appearance and actions, going through the motions of life, believing the world’s lie that my value was based on my appearance and accomplishments. Then, the Lord opened my eyes through the simple truths I wanted to instill in my daughter at a young age—the truths found in Proverbs 31:30, “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that fearth the Lord, she shall be praised.” I realized I had to teach her through example because I knew my words alone would never suffice, especially as she matures in the years to come. By faith, prayer, and determination, I was able to come to terms with the fact that it doesn’t matter what the scale reads, what people around me might think, or if I have a flashy career. The only thing that truly matters is my relationship with the Lord and earning His praise—this is the truth I long for my daughter to believe and embrace. And now, I’m embracing it too.
I started dressing in the here and now, as if I’m worthy because I am a daughter of the King. I began to no longer worry about what the scale might read because my value cannot be measured by numbers alone. I am okay with my picture ending up on social media because this is my life and I’m proud to share it with my family and friends. The Lord allowed me to begin seeing others in need so I could share my struggles with them because our testimonies are powerful when placed in His hands. And I now view the opportunity of being a stay-home mom as one of my greatest accomplishments to date. I am able to do this and so much more not because of who I am but because “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” (Psalms 46:1). And I do all of this because I want my daughter and son to see me live what I believe.
I can, now, see beauty amongst thorns. I know that each day is precious. I am grateful for the life God has given me. I pray that God will continually alter my POV for His glory.
I also pray that if you are struggling as I once did that you will experience the same—that you will allow God to alter you POV so you too will be able to experience life to the fullest.